What Makes Your Child Tick
Understanding your child’s behavioral style
The 4 primary dimensions of behavior for youth:
Direct and Active
Interested and Lively
Steady and Cooperative
Concerned and Correct
Direct and Active
YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOR: These young people are competitive and want to win. They may challenge you with questions, want to know why the rules exist and demand your attention.
YOUR REACTION: You may feel like you have lost control, don’t take this personally.
TAKE ACTION: Respond to their questions by giving “real” answers. “D” children like things to move quickly and become impatient easily. They do not like wasting time on activities that don’t make sense to them. Give them some type of personal responsibility.
Interested and Lively
YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOR: These young people prefer to work with others rather than alone. They can persuade others to go along with their point-of-view and can build enthusiasm within others. “i” children are very social and may not follow-through with projects, written assignments, chores or details.
YOUR REACTION: You may become frustrated. You may want to shut them down or shut them up.
TAKE ACTION: Be clear about what you want from them. Have them write it down, then have them read it back to you.
Steady and Cooperative
YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOR : These young people are interested in other people and like to be in situations where people are getting along. “S” children like things to be consistent and organized and may be threatened by change. If they are in situations where there is a great deal of impulsiveness and difference in routines, they will feel frustrated. These children prefer to follow and not lead.
YOUR REACTION: You may become frustrated because they are so laid back. You may want them to step up and lead, but they will prefer to stay back and follow.
TAKE ACTION: Let them know you have thought things out, are organized and show your appreciation for their contributions. Ask them questions to keep them engaged and moving forward with the process.
Concerned and Correct
YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOR : These young people like to think before making a decision. They have high standards and may ask a lot of “why” questions. “C” children like to figure things out for themselves, but will feel threatened when their work is questioned or criticized.
YOUR REACTION: You may become bothered by the number of questions they ask. You may feel threatened by the type of questions they ask and their frequency.
TAKE ACTION: When giving them corrections or feedback, be sure to stress you know they care and take their work seriously. When communicating with them, offer feedback as suggestions. Make sure rules, assignments and expectations are clear. Make sure you answer their “why” questions.